President Bush:

Good afternoon. Across the country, Americans are concerned about the high price of gasoline. Every one of our citizens who drives to work, or takes a family vacation, or runs a small business is feeling the squeeze of rising prices at the pump.

To reduce pressure on prices we must continue to implement good conservation policies,

Like raising CAFE standards, which I have staunchly opposed during my entire administration.

and we need to increase the supply of oil,

Because what we need is more oil, not conservation. None of this namby-pamby worrying about Global Climate Change for me.

especially here at home.

Because that whole invading-other-countries-for-their-oil thing hasn't turned out so well.

For years, my administration has been calling on Congress to expand domestic oil production.

Which is another way to say "drilling in the Artic National Wildlife Refuge".

Unfortunately, Democrats on Capitol Hill have rejected virtually every proposal -- and now Americans are paying at the pump.

Right, it's the fault of the Democrats, who have only controlled congress by a razor thin margin for 18 months, it's got nothing to do with me or the GOP. Higher gas prices have nothing to do with invading Iraq, blocking higher CAFE standards, cutting funding for alternative energy research, or the 40 billion barrels of offshore oil in the Gulf of Mexico that the oil companies have failed to develop.

When members of Congress were home over the Fourth of July recess, they heard a clear message from their constituents: We need to take action now to expand domestic oil production.

With a 9% approval rating, the lowest in history, the message the members of Congress should have heard is, "As much as we dislike President Bush, we dislike you more".

One of the most important steps we can take to expand American oil production is to increase access to offshore exploration on the Outer Continental Shelf, or what's called the OCS.

That's called an acronym, I just learned that this morning.

But Congress has restricted access to key parts of the OCS since the early 1980s. Experts believe that these restricted areas of the OCS could eventually produce nearly 10 years' worth of America's current annual oil production. And advances in technology have made it possible to conduct oil exploration in the OCS that is out of sight, protects coral reefs and habitats, and protects against oil spills.

Not that we need to protect the coral reefs from oil spills, they'll all be dead from the rising acidification of the oceans due to rising CO2 levels, but that's just me, I'm a giver.

Last month, I asked Congress to lift this legislative ban and allow the exploration and development of offshore oil resources. I committed to lift an executive prohibition on this exploration if Congress did so, tailoring my executive action to match what Congress passed. It's been almost a month since I urged Congress to act -- and they've done nothing.

Except completely capitulate on FISA and give retroactive immunity to telecoms that spied on Americans, but let's not dwell on the past.

They've not moved any legislation. And as the Democratically-controlled Congress has sat idle, gas prices have continued to increase.

Failure to act is unacceptable. It's unacceptable to me and it's unacceptable to the American people. So today, I've issued a memorandum to lift the executive prohibition on oil exploration in the OCS. With this action, the executive branch's restrictions on this exploration have been cleared away. This means that the only thing standing between the American people and these vast oil resources is action from the U.S. Congress.

That and a five year backlog on oil exploration equipment, but let's not dwell on the future.

Now the ball is squarely in Congress' court. Democratic leaders can show that they have finally heard the frustrations of the American people by matching the action I've taken today, repealing the congressional ban, and passing legislation to facilitate responsible offshore exploration. This legislation must allow states to have a say in what happens off their shores, provides a way for the federal government and states to share new leasing revenues, and ensure the environment is protected.

Because now that the GOP is sliding out of power you can be sure we're going to start whining about states rights again.

This legislation should also take other essential steps to expand domestic production: Congress should clear the way for our nation to tap into the extraordinary potential of oil shale, which could provide Americans with domestic oil supplies that are equal to more than a century's worth of current oil imports. Congress should permit exploration in currently restricted areas of northern Alaska, which could produce roughly the equivalent of two decades of imported oil from Saudi Arabia. Congress should expand and enhance our domestic refining capacity, so that America will no longer have to import millions of barrels of fully-refined gasoline from abroad.

The time for action is now.

Not eight years ago when I started in this job, or 30 years ago when we had our first energy crisis, but right now.

This is a difficult period for millions of American families. Every extra dollar they have to spend because of high gas prices is one dollar less they can use to put food on the table or send a child to school.

or get healthcare. Oh wait, I'm not supposed to mention healthcare. Can I get a do-over?

And they are rightly angered by Congress' failure to enact common-sense solutions. Today, I've taken every step within my power to allow offshore exploration of the OCS.

Well, every legal action. I could tell the oil companies that they were allowed to drill based solely on my word, and then later ask congress to grant them retroactive immunity for their illegal drilling, but that's so yesterday.

All that remains is for the Democratic leaders in Congress to allow a vote. The American people are watching the numbers climb higher and higher at the pump -- and they're waiting to see what the Congress will do.

While we're waiting, who's up for a round of golf?

Much enjoying your rants, Joe! (If you happen to be in Atlanta, get in touch with the PyAtl users group.)

Posted by Rick on 2008-07-15

I'm not sure which concerns me more — that the President of our country is this ignorant or that a significant proportion of the population is ignorant enough to believe him. That said, the question remains: How do we make it better?

Posted by Paul on 2008-07-15

I was waiting for the "High as a Kite" canned fisking. Oh, and class="fisk" didn't work on the feed reader; maybe Thunderbird strips all styles.

Posted by Luis Bruno on 2008-07-16

Luis: Silly rabbit, "high as a kite" is for PR-Speak translations! ...which I sort of guess this is, it just doesn't label itself as if it were.

Posted by Jesper on 2008-07-16

This is very confusing to read in a feed reader because the quotations aren’t in <blockquote> tags. (You can give them a class and use that to undo the block-quote styling in the context of your site if you really want to; personally I think it’d work best to just let the quotes be quotes and your own text be your own text.)

Posted by Aristotle Pagaltzis on 2008-07-16

Please forgive my vulgarity but that was just fucking awesome. It's such a shame it's right on. Surprised you didn't throw in the Enron loophole, though, and the effect of speculation on the price at the pump. Nevertheless, brilliant post. Oh, and I love the slug in the URI (planet warming agenda)...

Posted by Christian Romney on 2008-07-16

An excellent rant in the best spirit of the tradition. Bravo.

Posted by Michael R. Bernstein on 2008-07-17